








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 744 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3221 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2693 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2828 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3328 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,625 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Noname | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | PYRO | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | ✪ Schildo | 62% | 47 |
| #5 | mooZ^ | 59% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mooZ^ | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Conrick | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Ren1 | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Noname | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Noname | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mooZ^ | 812 | 0.29 | 22 min |
| #2 | Conrick | 254 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Juxtaism | 216 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✪ Schildo | 185 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Noname | 167 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +2.36 | 68 | 69 |
| #2 | 2kbambusleitung | +1.52 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | WEEDsFed|GER| | +1.52 | 68 | 73 |
| #4 | Conrick | +1.47 | 80 | 70 |
| #5 | PYRO | +1.18 | 78 | 65 |





