








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2553 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1065 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2934 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1635 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,403 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Wringo | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | dalton | 56% | 72 |
| #4 | Gotti | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | nmh | 51% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Wringo | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | dalton | 56% | 72 |
| #4 | Gotti | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | nmh | 51% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nmh | 14 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | dalton | 13 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | honk | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Wringo | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nmh | 265 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | dalton | 246 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Wringo | 119 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gotti | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | honk | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk | +2.62 | 93 | 18 |
| #2 | Gotti | +2.52 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | dalton | +1.91 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | sw | +0.82 | 88 | 51 |
| #5 | Wringo | +0.80 | 60 | 64 |





