








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5900 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3210 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2956 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3407 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,274,006 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3monlime | 61% | 174 |
| #2 | ethical bum sniffer | 54% | 74 |
| #3 | Fatigue ♿ | 52% | 193 |
| #4 | Mostly Harmless | 49% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3monlime | 61% | 174 |
| #2 | ethical bum sniffer | 54% | 74 |
| #3 | Fatigue ♿ | 52% | 193 |
| #4 | Mostly Harmless | 49% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mostly Harmless | 22 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ethical bum sniffer | 11 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Fatigue ♿ | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | L3monlime | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatigue ♿ | 566 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | L3monlime | 349 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mostly Harmless | 288 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | ethical bum sniffer | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3monlime | +6.38 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | Mostly Harmless | +0.72 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | ethical bum sniffer | +0.27 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | Finbu | -0.64 | 46 | 67 |
| #5 | Fatigue ♿ | -1.48 | 43 | 63 |





