








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 568 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 461 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6799 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8702 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6039 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6141 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,862,837 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eppadogg | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | AOT - Alcast | 49% | 242 |
| #3 | ap0z | 49% | 213 |
| #4 | Jowki91 | 47% | 275 |
| #5 | Vulpes | 46% | 305 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jowki91 | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Vulpes | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Winger | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | mingle | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Hussy | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mingle | 544 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | ap0z | 519 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Vulpes | 376 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jowki91 | 367 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | AOT - Alcast | 245 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ap0z | +2.84 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | Eppadogg | +2.48 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | mingle | +2.25 | 59 | 74 |
| #4 | Jowki91 | +1.61 | 81 | 62 |
| #5 | Winger | +0.42 | 71 | 53 |





