








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,699 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1529 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3161 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3287 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3250 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,211,993 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kamsY | 49% | 242 |
| #6 | Jowki91 | 49% | 296 |
| #7 | Vulpes | 46% | 294 |
| #8 | soxey | 34% | 44 |
| #9 | Hussy | 24% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jowki91 | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Vulpes | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ap0z | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | kamsY | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | soxey | 2 | 0.0021 |





