








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 283 matches | ||
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6305 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7747 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4539 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7146 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,605,732 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 562 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deejay | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | uh oh | 56% | 241 |
| #3 | SulamiWizard | 55% | 490 |
| #4 | fusion | 53% | 202 |
| #5 | Shhh Ghostツ | 53% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fusion | 53% | 202 |
| #5 | Shhh Ghostツ | 53% | 62 |
| #6 | Walter Brown | 53% | 261 |
| #7 | Mvv. Anna | 50% | 108 |
| #8 | pk backthrow | 49% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SulamiWizard | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | uh oh | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Walter Brown | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | fusion | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | deejay | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SulamiWizard | 2677 | 0.25 | 82 min |
| #2 | uh oh | 913 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #3 | fusion | 513 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Walter Brown | 388 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | pk backthrow | 308 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SulamiWizard | +2.55 | 75 | 79 |
| #2 | Shhh Ghostツ | +1.08 | 69 | 54 |
| #3 | fusion | +0.89 | 64 | 54 |
| #4 | deejay | +0.80 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | Walter Brown | +0.20 | 77 | 52 |





