








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 994 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1463 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1417 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1868 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,590 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Sillymeister | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | iamdizzy | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | cut throat | 58% | 52 |
| #4 | Vrooooooom | 55% | 101 |
| #5 | pixelrift | 55% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pixelrift | 55% | 58 |
| #6 | Gary | 53% | 60 |
| #7 | GutterSlut | 50% | 58 |
| #8 | wfair | 49% | 79 |
| #9 | NextToNever | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Sillymeister | 13 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | wfair | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Gary | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Vrooooooom | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | pixelrift | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iamdizzy | 202 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Vrooooooom | 177 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | wfair | 159 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | GutterSlut | 90 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | NextToNever | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Sillymeister | +2.77 | 76 | 29 |
| #2 | bennyboi | +2.59 | 68 | 40 |
| #3 | iamdizzy | +1.98 | 57 | 78 |
| #4 | NextToNever | +1.65 | 68 | 47 |
| #5 | Vrooooooom | +1.60 | 68 | 54 |





