








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4735 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3085 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3988 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2039 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $490,014 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xeri | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | k4z | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | preacher | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | px- | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | niarb | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xeri | 410 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | preacher | 149 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | niarb | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | ^veh | 93 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | crakk | 88 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crakk | +0.93 | 49 | 65 |
| #2 | xeri | +0.74 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | preacher | +0.40 | 63 | 70 |
| #4 | weedy | +0.11 | 41 | 63 |
| #5 | px- | +0.08 | 59 | 65 |





