








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 465 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6563 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7635 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6141 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5839 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,759 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Medstinge | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | [ GWP ] Boxhead | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | illuzioN | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | FluxOnBud | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 53% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swankadia (He/Rtmx 6090titi) | 16 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | FluxOnBud | 11 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | VBeachedWhaleV | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | [ GWP ] Boxhead | 5 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VBeachedWhaleV | 558 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | Swankadia (He/Rtmx 6090titi) | 392 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | ChoseN | 180 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | illuzioN | 179 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 129 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swankadia (He/Rtmx 6090titi) | +2.76 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | Medstinge | +2.26 | 68 | 42 |
| #3 | Beanus the 23 and 3/4 | +0.92 | 63 | 68 |
| #4 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | +0.80 | 78 | 31 |
| #5 | illuzioN | +0.23 | 40 | 71 |





