








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 220 | 12% |
| Smokes | 525 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 633 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 409 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,163 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mister Oink Oink | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | M'bals Es Harry | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | moise | 48% | 65 |
| #4 | percocetPEEK xFumEZLegaLEx | 42% | 45 |
| #5 | nftPEEK Dorian Popa | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mister Oink Oink | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | M'bals Es Harry | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | moise | 48% | 65 |
| #4 | percocetPEEK xFumEZLegaLEx | 42% | 45 |
| #5 | nftPEEK Dorian Popa | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M'bals Es Harry | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moise | 295 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | percocetPEEK xFumEZLegaLEx | 102 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | nftPEEK Dorian Popa | 54 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | M'bals Es Harry | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mister Oink Oink | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mister Oink Oink | +1.94 | 65 | 62 |
| #2 | M'bals Es Harry | +1.24 | 69 | 40 |
| #3 | moise | +1.13 | 65 | 57 |
| #4 | percocetPEEK xFumEZLegaLEx | -1.51 | 44 | 61 |
| #5 | M1humeister | -1.66 | 51 | 40 |





