








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 121 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1555 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1483 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 518 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 863 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,918 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mister Oink Oink | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | M'bals Es Harry | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | M1humeister | 48% | 65 |
| #4 | percocetPEEK xFumEZLegaLEx | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | nftPEEK Dorian Popa | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mister Oink Oink | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | M'bals Es Harry | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | M1humeister | 48% | 65 |
| #4 | percocetPEEK xFumEZLegaLEx | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | nftPEEK Dorian Popa | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | percocetPEEK xFumEZLegaLEx | 110 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | nftPEEK Dorian Popa | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | M'bals Es Harry | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | M1humeister | 57 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mister Oink Oink | 13 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moise | +1.51 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | Mister Oink Oink | +0.46 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | M'bals Es Harry | +0.45 | 72 | 46 |
| #4 | M1humeister | -1.96 | 50 | 40 |
| #5 | nftPEEK Dorian Popa | -1.97 | 49 | 62 |





