








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1169 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2440 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1480 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1853 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,192,000 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | RA_boogie | 50% | 84 |
| #7 | S1lence | 49% | 182 |
| #8 | I BHOP TO SCHOOL | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | zzhharry | 48% | 122 |
| #10 | Little Purple | 43% | 54 |





