








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 260 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5684 | 47% |
| Smokes | 3736 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1643 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1003 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,392,450 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 564 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 52Hz | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | REeAiM | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | North Korean Sniper | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | i cried when i played this game | 55% | 95 |
| #5 | vu | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | LittleGreen | 41% | 29 |
| #14 | RA_boogie | 40% | 52 |
| #15 | maz_bass | 40% | 75 |
| #16 | Little Purple | 39% | 64 |
| #17 | KDN | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i cried when i played this game | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | North Korean Sniper | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | 52Hz | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | PKQ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | maz_bass | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i cried when i played this game | 598 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #2 | PKQ | 453 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #3 | maz_bass | 379 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | S1lence | 318 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #5 | Little Purple | 248 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 52Hz | +6.13 | 97 | 54 |
| #2 | LittleGreen | +1.31 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | S1lence | +1.25 | 81 | 74 |
| #4 | LITTLE RED | +1.24 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | vu | +0.80 | 70 | 52 |





