








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 333 | 9% |
| Smokes | 817 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1322 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1233 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,827 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 532 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | log2c | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Casto | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Uncertainty | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | leeroy jensen | 52% | 105 |
| #5 | απππκππ
| 52% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leeroy jensen | 169 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | UwU-Tang Clan | 121 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | απππκππ
| 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | The Don | 80 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Uncertainty | 65 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kenshee | +2.42 | 60 | 60 |
| #2 | Uncertainty | +2.13 | 59 | 71 |
| #3 | Casto | +1.58 | 78 | 45 |
| #4 | Mutagen | +1.53 | 62 | 38 |
| #5 | log2c | +0.95 | 72 | 51 |





