








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 694 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8041 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10435 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 7816 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4949 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,496,328 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 541 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | UwU-Tang Clan | 50% | 191 |
| #9 | απππκππ
| 49% | 163 |
| #10 | The Don | 48% | 164 |
| #11 | chocolatine de los ojos tristes | 48% | 52 |
| #12 | βKawaii Kayisβ | 48% | 321 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βKawaii Kayisβ | 23 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | kenshee | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | The Don | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | απππκππ
| 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Casto | 2 | 0.0013 |





