








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2743 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2007 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3268 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2345 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,757 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sabbernde Sabine | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | NANDO | 61% | 80 |
| #3 | thex | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | Harry ∝ ℤℝ | 57% | 79 |
| #5 | Jon | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | thex | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | Harry ∝ ℤℝ | 57% | 79 |
| #5 | Jon | 56% | 52 |
| #6 | d00wN | 53% | 60 |
| #7 | larry | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d00wN | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | NANDO | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Sabbernde Sabine | 7 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | Harry ∝ ℤℝ | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | thex | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NANDO | 286 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | d00wN | 105 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Harry ∝ ℤℝ | 84 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jon | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | thex | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sabbernde Sabine | +4.77 | 70 | 12 |
| #2 | audi enjoyer | +2.45 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | NANDO | +2.29 | 87 | 52 |
| #4 | d00wN | +1.26 | 83 | 34 |
| #5 | Harry ∝ ℤℝ | +0.85 | 73 | 32 |





