








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Wingman | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4012 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4469 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5589 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6176 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,966,590 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max_cze | 67% | 67 |
| #2 | mrutus | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | Hydros | 57% | 314 |
| #4 | erzikk | 57% | 209 |
| #5 | ExorcistDan | 51% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | mrutus | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | Hydros | 57% | 314 |
| #4 | erzikk | 57% | 209 |
| #5 | ExorcistDan | 51% | 144 |
| #6 | Vas3kLoL | 41% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erzikk | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Hydros | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Vas3kLoL | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ExorcistDan | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | mrutus | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydros | 578 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | erzikk | 262 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Vas3kLoL | 218 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ExorcistDan | 114 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | mrutus | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trybbe | +4.30 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | erzikk | +2.86 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | Hydros | +0.80 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | ExorcistDan | +0.36 | 61 | 45 |
| #5 | mrutus | +0.19 | 86 | 47 |





