








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 942 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2156 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2170 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2366 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2168 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,461 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✠♆ Blix_2k ♆✠ | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | rQquin | 61% | 90 |
| #3 | LePapouth | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | TATIHOUjnr | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Horigrim | 52% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | choppyyyyJESUS | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | batsosocat | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | Deherve | 41% | 37 |
| #9 | StyxD | 40% | 25 |
| #10 | Strabisme | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rQquin | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | LePapouth | 9 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | batsosocat | 8 | 0.0207 |
| #4 | StyxD | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | choppyyyyJESUS | 4 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horigrim | 193 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | StyxD | 181 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #3 | rQquin | 176 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | LePapouth | 140 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Deherve | 77 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TATIHOUjnr | +6.33 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | LePapouth | +3.59 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | rQquin | +3.31 | 80 | 44 |
| #4 | choppyyyyJESUS | +2.38 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | Strabisme | +1.34 | 76 | 75 |





