








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1338 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16368 | 32% |
| Smokes | 14402 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 13962 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6273 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,957,133 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1937 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElipticTide | 55% | 128 |
| #2 | Falzo | 51% | 373 |
| #3 | Gaymer | 49% | 215 |
| #4 | Apex Hong | 48% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElipticTide | 55% | 128 |
| #2 | Falzo | 51% | 373 |
| #3 | Gaymer | 49% | 215 |
| #4 | Apex Hong | 48% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElipticTide | 34 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Gaymer | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Falzo | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Apex Hong | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaymer | 698 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Apex Hong | 683 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | ElipticTide | 388 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Falzo | 203 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose | +1.19 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | ElipticTide | +0.01 | 27 | 51 |
| #3 | Gaymer | -0.97 | 54 | 43 |
| #4 | Apex Hong | -1.09 | 35 | 53 |
| #5 | Falzo | -2.27 | 44 | 36 |





