








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 751 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 180 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10430 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7648 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8652 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6112 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,329,250 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forks | 59% | 162 |
| #2 | JO-GURT | 57% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forks | 59% | 162 |
| #2 | JO-GURT | 57% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JO-GURT | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Forks | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forks | 541 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | JO-GURT | 208 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JO-GURT | +1.51 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | StatiK | +1.00 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | Forks | +0.94 | 74 | 54 |





