








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 489 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6158 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3985 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3669 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3959 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3900 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,623,448 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StatiK | 59% | 162 |
| #2 | Dakwii | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | JO-GURT | 58% | 332 |
| #4 | sonyy | 55% | 123 |
| #5 | voice_enable 0 | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boppin | 1626 | 0.31 | 46 min |
| #2 | JO-GURT | 864 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #3 | StatiK | 839 | 0.25 | 26 min |
| #4 | sonyy | 266 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | voice_enable 0 | 110 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dakwii | +5.12 | 92 | 48 |
| #2 | JO-GURT | +2.71 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | StatiK | +1.29 | 72 | 74 |
| #4 | Forks | +1.10 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | Boppin | -0.24 | 78 | 73 |





