








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 204 | 24% |
| Smokes | 255 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 165 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 214 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $48,322 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | langeslange | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ralle♛ | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Vinkelsliber ☂ | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Dessau | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | ✪ MoD | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Vinkelsliber ☂ | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Dessau | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | ✪ MoD | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | steffry | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | Berksman | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ralle♛ | 63 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪ MoD | 11 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #3 | Dessau | 10 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #4 | Vinkelsliber ☂ | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Berksman | 7 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lightspeed #nicotinehigh | +4.22 | 97 | 65 |
| #2 | steffry | +4.19 | 91 | 79 |
| #3 | ✪ MoD | +1.57 | 41 | 50 |
| #4 | ralle♛ | +0.39 | 81 | 62 |
| #5 | Berksman | +0.12 | 45 | 70 |





