








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1310 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2184 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1701 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1500 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $980,493 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cowboy | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Groovi 👀 | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Stairsy | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | hEN3SY | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | roscoe | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Groovi 👀 | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Stairsy | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | hEN3SY | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | roscoe | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | Remmr | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hEN3SY | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | roscoe | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Groovi 👀 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stairsy | 196 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | hEN3SY | 89 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | roscoe | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | cowboy | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Remmr | 21 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪RandomX | +1.70 | 68 | 58 |
| #2 | hEN3SY | +0.87 | 91 | 44 |
| #3 | cowboy | +0.78 | 57 | 70 |
| #4 | Groovi 👀 | -0.60 | 59 | 27 |
| #5 | Stairsy | -1.18 | 56 | 57 |





