








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1448 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1500 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1329 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1003 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,528 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob_Marley | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | tyreett | 49% | 120 |
| #3 | ThE_F4me | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | twiffty | 43% | 67 |
| #5 | mo_JaZzM4n | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ThE_F4me | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | twiffty | 43% | 67 |
| #5 | mo_JaZzM4n | 42% | 31 |
| #6 | Maggus Rühl | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | Waschi | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyreett | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | twiffty | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ThE_F4me | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Bob_Marley | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | mo_JaZzM4n | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyreett | 262 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | twiffty | 190 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | mo_JaZzM4n | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ThE_F4me | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Waschi | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThE_F4me | +2.48 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | Waschi | +1.84 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | Bob_Marley | +0.48 | 49 | 62 |
| #4 | Timsi | +0.18 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | twiffty | -0.40 | 80 | 64 |





