








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 932 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 870 | 27% |
| Smokes | 546 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1428 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 396 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,276 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZenX | 44% | 43 |
| #2 | 猞猁 ``lyniix 彡ム | 43% | 23 |
| #3 | Ole Anders | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | Kavring | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | Tominiz | 37% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beans | 200 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ZenX | 145 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tominiz | 131 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | 猞猁 ``lyniix 彡ム | 128 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | daniboy | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 猞猁 ``lyniix 彡ム | +2.77 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | Kavring | +2.04 | 64 | 43 |
| #3 | Befufftlefumpter | +1.72 | 65 | 41 |
| #4 | Seni | +1.47 | 44 | 49 |
| #5 | Beans | +1.13 | 29 | 85 |





