










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 330 matches | ||
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Wingman | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2639 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4879 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4898 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3797 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,792,866 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 939 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marabu | 63% | 54 |
| #2 | Solid Snake | 61% | 44 |
| #3 | Sucki Julo | 56% | 162 |
| #4 | tyrannus | 52% | 405 |
| #5 | Kilg0re | 52% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kilg0re | 52% | 192 |
| #6 | Gibby | 51% | 43 |
| #7 | Exi | 51% | 211 |
| #8 | Kugel | 49% | 81 |
| #9 | Kirby | 44% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exi | 21 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | tyrannus | 17 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Kilg0re | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Marabu | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Sucki Julo | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyrannus | 1516 | 0.18 | 40 min |
| #2 | Kilg0re | 535 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Exi | 452 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Sucki Julo | 291 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kugel | 201 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exi | +2.86 | 67 | 56 |
| #2 | Gibby | +2.11 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | Solid Snake | +0.82 | 46 | 54 |
| #4 | Kilg0re | +0.69 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | pgnd | +0.17 | 72 | 37 |





