








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1805 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2018 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 761 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1385 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,247 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RestlessDingo | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | G PORI | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | ℜ𝔲𝔲𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱𝔱 ✟ | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Meggala | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | Nidelix | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | LuumuVaras | 50% | 14 |
| #15 | Gangrene | 50% | 70 |
| #16 | Kurry | 45% | 53 |
| #17 | Pyssyh | 44% | 16 |
| #18 | Gammel Turja | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyssyh | 4 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | KipeaUkkeli | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Mikkotar666 | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Kurry | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Hullukukko | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nidelix | 155 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Hattutehdas Oy | 152 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | sorsa | 139 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | KipeaUkkeli | 108 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Meggala | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |





