








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1919 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1580 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1398 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1362 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,722 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caileen | 51% | 72 |
| #2 | HolyMoly | 50% | 108 |
| #3 | COMMA | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caileen | 51% | 72 |
| #2 | HolyMoly | 50% | 108 |
| #3 | COMMA | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HolyMoly | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | caileen | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | COMMA | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HolyMoly | 486 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | caileen | 198 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | COMMA | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow | +2.07 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | HolyMoly | +0.05 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | caileen | -0.03 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | COMMA | -1.40 | 61 | 53 |





