








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1872 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1001 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 674 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $210,429 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | philly | 57% | 49 |
| #8 | Sweaty | 55% | 71 |
| #9 | cry | 52% | 25 |
| #10 | GigaChad | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | ✪ Smokey | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweaty | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | philly | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Stussx | 2 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | ✪ Smokey | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweaty | 256 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | chungitex | 146 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪ Smokey | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gibby | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | philly | 30 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | primal | +7.89 | 93 | 58 |
| #2 | Sweaty | +4.26 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | philly | +3.65 | 84 | 49 |
| #4 | chungitex | +1.27 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | ✪ Smokey | +0.29 | 79 | 47 |





