








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2069 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1966 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2061 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2305 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,203 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 59% | 95 |
| #2 | JA5U | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | Nixon | 56% | 85 |
| #4 | himas? Äleksib | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | ドック | 53% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | JA5U | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | Nixon | 56% | 85 |
| #4 | himas? Äleksib | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | ドック | 53% | 95 |
| #6 | Treme | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ドック | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Treme | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | himas? Äleksib | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | JA5U | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ドック | 332 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Treme | 213 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | JA5U | 171 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | | 106 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nixon | 65 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | +3.13 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | ✪Jwass | +0.52 | 58 | 59 |
| #3 | Treme | -0.19 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | ドック | -0.38 | 50 | 58 |
| #5 | JA5U | -0.69 | 60 | 61 |





