








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4304 | 47% |
| Smokes | 1682 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2118 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1016 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,538,798 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Köyttäjä | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | SADDLE SNIFFER | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | ✪Jwass | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | Treme | 52% | 153 |
| #5 | | 51% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | | 51% | 223 |
| #6 | Nixon | 50% | 185 |
| #7 | dawg | 47% | 43 |
| #8 | JA5U | 46% | 154 |
| #9 | himas? Äleksib | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | JA5U | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Treme | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Nixon | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | himas? Äleksib | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JA5U | 508 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | Treme | 493 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | | 300 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✪Jwass | 218 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nixon | 153 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dawg | +3.72 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | | +3.18 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | SADDLE SNIFFER | +2.23 | 55 | 68 |
| #4 | ✪Jwass | +0.51 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | ドック | +0.13 | 57 | 56 |





