








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2085 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3543 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3339 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3462 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,815 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itso | 23 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Beanie Beetle | 23 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Melo | 16 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | JoeSlaps | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Richard Pryor | 11 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itso | 723 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | JoeSlaps | 363 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Beanie Beetle | 258 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Richard Pryor | 215 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Melo | 159 | 0.18 | 4 min |





