








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 662 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9346 | 40% |
| Smokes | 7027 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1179 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 5752 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,570,227 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2002 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghost | 60% | 72 |
| #2 | Richard Pryor | 58% | 131 |
| #3 | ThePaidActor | 58% | 206 |
| #4 | JoeSlaps | 54% | 215 |
| #5 | Melo | 53% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeSlaps | 664 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | ThePaidActor | 407 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Beanie Beetle | 375 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Melo | 219 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Lejion | 217 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itso | +4.41 | 67 | 65 |
| #2 | JoeSlaps | +1.92 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | sheen | +1.89 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | ThePaidActor | +0.89 | 58 | 52 |
| #5 | Tomminter | +0.31 | 62 | 33 |





