








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2468 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1087 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2054 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1360 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,507 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GMD | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | Valoodja | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | r0mmar | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | zmp1 | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | frosted | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triple A. | 11 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | frosted | 7 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | GMD | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Aviraj | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | LIMFY | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triple A. | 144 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Aviraj | 140 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | frosted | 126 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | GMD | 122 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Big Oliver | 89 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valoodja | +8.88 | 98 | 62 |
| #2 | Spaxiito | +4.68 | 88 | 54 |
| #3 | GMD | +4.53 | 81 | 50 |
| #4 | E$t0 | +4.53 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | zmp1 | +2.96 | 84 | 65 |





