








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5554 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4294 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1602 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3847 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,015 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Samme611 | 48% | 52 |
| #12 | Depresso Espresso | 46% | 24 |
| #13 | Lord Keke | 45% | 20 |
| #14 | khs | 43% | 37 |
| #15 | bojan | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lagger | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Ducky | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | LATEX LEBBEN | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Depresso Espresso | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Samme611 | 2 | 0.0018 |





