








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1298 | 31% |
| Smokes | 810 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1465 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 675 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,357 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VactorN | 41% | 27 |
| #2 | SirPeggo | 40% | 20 |
| #3 | Gandalf | 40% | 73 |
| #4 | Mervil | 40% | 58 |
| #5 | KrigN | 39% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stalle | 8 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | KrigN | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Gandalf | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Mervil | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Maldtavlan | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf | 262 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mervil | 221 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | KrigN | 176 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Stalle | 130 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | VactorN | 91 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VactorN | +3.08 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | Mervil | +2.99 | 64 | 64 |
| #3 | Gandalf | +2.60 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | SirPeggo | +2.47 | 78 | 71 |
| #5 | KrigN | +0.98 | 52 | 63 |





