








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 442 | 6% |
| Smokes | 2679 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2997 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1571 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,570 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 452 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BNutler | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | Balty | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | certified pants shitter | 47% | 268 |
| #4 | Ryan | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BNutler | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | Balty | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | certified pants shitter | 47% | 268 |
| #4 | Ryan | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | certified pants shitter | 33 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | BNutler | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Balty | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Ryan | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | certified pants shitter | 310 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | BNutler | 93 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Balty | 31 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ryan | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | botigan | +2.40 | 56 | 29 |
| #2 | BNutler | -0.11 | 45 | 46 |
| #3 | Balty | -0.63 | 58 | 23 |
| #4 | certified pants shitter | -0.96 | 64 | 41 |
| #5 | Ryan | -1.96 | 48 | 18 |





