










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 321 | 18% |
| Smokes | 517 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 493 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 459 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,145 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geimpft? | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | mythoS | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Syskey | 75% | 16 |
| #4 | Briefbombe ins Vodafone HQ | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | Rizean | 68% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | mythoS | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Syskey | 75% | 16 |
| #4 | Briefbombe ins Vodafone HQ | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | Rizean | 68% | 25 |
| #6 | andi | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mythoS | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizean | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Syskey | 43 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Briefbombe ins Vodafone HQ | 42 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | mythoS | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | geimpft? | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizean | +3.26 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | andi | +2.99 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | Briefbombe ins Vodafone HQ | +1.57 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | mythoS | +1.38 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | ✪ Oklinussi | +0.79 | 74 | 53 |





