










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 87 | 10% |
| Smokes | 193 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 257 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 313 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $214,631 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizzmeister | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | napzter | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | LilPancake | 40% | 43 |
| #4 | SouljaBoy | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizzmeister | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | napzter | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | LilPancake | 40% | 43 |
| #4 | SouljaBoy | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizzmeister | 5 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | LilPancake | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | napzter | 4 | 0.0171 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LilPancake | 233 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | napzter | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | SouljaBoy | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Rizzmeister | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | napzter | +2.35 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | LilPancake | +1.37 | 47 | 36 |
| #3 | Rizzmeister | +0.85 | 7 | 31 |
| #4 | SouljaBoy | +0.72 | 32 | 42 |
| #5 | Tiny Turd | -1.23 | 39 | 31 |





