








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,487 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,968 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2005 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3415 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2620 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1928 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,562 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | 52% | 210 |
| #2 | Snyltbralla | 51% | 70 |
| #3 | Jk^ | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | CRL | 48% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | 52% | 210 |
| #2 | Snyltbralla | 51% | 70 |
| #3 | Jk^ | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | CRL | 48% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | 24 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Jk^ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Snyltbralla | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | 537 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jk^ | 196 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Snyltbralla | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | CRL | 84 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snyltbralla | +2.23 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Jk^ | +0.41 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | +0.19 | 69 | 46 |
| #4 | raZ | -0.54 | 59 | 67 |
| #5 | CRL | -1.82 | 66 | 49 |





