








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 800 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1165 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 990 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 870 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $314,036 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raZ | 51% | 70 |
| #2 | CRL | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | Jk^ | 46% | 84 |
| #4 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | 45% | 115 |
| #5 | smE #86 | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raZ | 51% | 70 |
| #2 | CRL | 46% | 71 |
| #3 | Jk^ | 46% | 84 |
| #4 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | 45% | 115 |
| #5 | smE #86 | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | raZ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Jk^ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | CRL | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | 279 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jk^ | 203 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | raZ | 189 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | CRL | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | smE #86 | 19 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snyltbralla | +2.29 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | smE #86 | +1.52 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | Jk^ | -0.17 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | Gösta Strumpbyxa | -0.49 | 73 | 47 |
| #5 | raZ | -1.01 | 58 | 67 |





