








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 424 | 39% |
| Smokes | 367 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 184 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 115 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,790 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Primi God Mango | 42% | 26 |
| #8 | Jules | 38% | 37 |
| #9 | Mista WIde | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | compressed giraffe | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | Darquisha | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primi God Mango | 8 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | me | 7 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | BALKO | 5 | 0.0255 |
| #4 | moon | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | Jaquavious | 3 | 0.0210 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me | 158 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Primi God Mango | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | moon | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mista WIde | 48 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | BALKO | 39 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me | +8.12 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | Primi God Mango | +5.18 | 51 | 46 |
| #3 | Darquisha | +4.43 | 72 | 54 |
| #4 | moon | +3.51 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | Jaquavious | +1.91 | 33 | 52 |





