








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 452 | 30% |
| Smokes | 315 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 390 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 329 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,105 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primi God Mango | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Darquisha | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | BALKO | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Crabs_01 | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | me | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | moon | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | Jaquavious | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | Jules | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | Primi God Space | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | Mista WIde | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me | 10 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | moon | 3 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Jaquavious | 3 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | Primi God Mango | 3 | 0.0161 |
| #5 | Jules | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me | 155 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | BALKO | 41 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jaquavious | 35 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mista WIde | 34 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Primi God Mango | 32 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me | +6.40 | 67 | 66 |
| #2 | Darquisha | +3.13 | 78 | 43 |
| #3 | Primi God Mango | +2.70 | 55 | 51 |
| #4 | moon | +1.74 | 57 | 36 |
| #5 | Jaquavious | +0.53 | 60 | 46 |





