








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 98 | 22% |
| Smokes | 126 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 107 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 110 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,849 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOL | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | just chillin in o'block | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | XYoshiZ | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | kenny jams | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Banana Gripper | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Banana Gripper | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | Timo | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | pat | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | Connor Cox | 50% | 6 |
| #9 | heath dunbar | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timo | 2 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | just chillin in o'block | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Connor Cox | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XYoshiZ | 43 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | Timo | 12 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | Banana Gripper | 12 | 0.30 | 0 min |
| #4 | Connor Cox | 11 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | LOL | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana Gripper | +3.21 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | just chillin in o'block | +2.95 | 88 | 33 |
| #3 | XYoshiZ | +2.80 | 94 | 67 |
| #4 | tel DROP.SKIN | +2.70 | 90 | 52 |
| #5 | Connor Cox | +0.91 | 90 | 54 |





