








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 62 | 32% |
| Smokes | 16 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 80 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 35 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $77,873 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 97 | 44% | 57 |
| #5 | arskab | 41% | 34 |
| #6 | hontsa | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | laateez1 | 39% | 18 |
| #8 | -aksub- | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 97 | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Big AL | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | laateez1 | 4 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | arskab | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | -aksub- | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕖𝕡𝕚 | 269 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | 97 | 110 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Big AL | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | -aksub- | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | laateez1 | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arskab | +4.28 | 97 | 50 |
| #2 | hontsa | +2.35 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | 𝕖𝕡𝕚 | +0.52 | 89 | 57 |
| #4 | 97 | +0.14 | 62 | 54 |
| #5 | laateez1 | -0.01 | 90 | 56 |





