








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3856 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3970 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4065 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3318 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,852,664 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmund Fraud | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | mausi | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | ✪ ℳÆ✘ | 55% | 140 |
| #4 | Xero | 55% | 126 |
| #5 | ReD | 55% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^syrex | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Xero | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | s0n1c | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ✪ ℳÆ✘ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ReD | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0n1c | +3.23 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | ^syrex | +1.92 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | ReD | +1.78 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | Baylife #1Dome Runner | +0.49 | 73 | 52 |
| #5 | Sigmund Fraud | -0.38 | 67 | 37 |





