








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4179 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2689 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2624 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1764 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,771 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 895 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minifreeze | 41% | 186 |
| #2 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | 39% | 66 |
| #3 | MrSouli Tmts | 38% | 65 |
| #4 | La Baguette [Le S] | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minifreeze | 41% | 186 |
| #2 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | 39% | 66 |
| #3 | MrSouli Tmts | 38% | 65 |
| #4 | La Baguette [Le S] | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minifreeze | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | MrSouli Tmts | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | La Baguette [Le S] | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minifreeze | 471 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | MrSouli Tmts | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | La Baguette [Le S] | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrSouli Tmts | +2.03 | 80 | 30 |
| #2 | Minifreeze | +1.12 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | Lucartiste | -0.14 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | -1.32 | 78 | 32 |
| #5 | La Baguette [Le S] | -4.94 | 27 | 38 |





