








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2490 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2809 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2006 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2438 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,774 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La Baguette [Le S] | 51% | 45 |
| #2 | MrSouli Tmts | 51% | 120 |
| #3 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | Lucartiste | 41% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La Baguette [Le S] | 51% | 45 |
| #2 | MrSouli Tmts | 51% | 120 |
| #3 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | Lucartiste | 41% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucartiste | 23 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | La Baguette [Le S] | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | MrSouli Tmts | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucartiste | 877 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | MrSouli Tmts | 78 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | La Baguette [Le S] | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | 28 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrSouli Tmts | +2.66 | 81 | 34 |
| #2 | Minifreeze | +1.89 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | Lucartiste | -0.71 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | Ƙ𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖆 ♡ | -1.07 | 78 | 34 |
| #5 | La Baguette [Le S] | -3.51 | 33 | 37 |





