








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 754 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3421 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4155 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4683 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4168 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,718,583 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lakso | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | LeChuck | 59% | 123 |
| #3 | uni | 55% | 56 |
| #4 | nixX | 52% | 307 |
| #5 | pewpew | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nixX | 1161 | 0.18 | 33 min |
| #2 | LeChuck | 291 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | uni | 157 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | ♛/Asii\♛ | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | pewpew | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |





