








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4192 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5094 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4236 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4365 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,519,363 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nixX | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | SV Waldhof Mannheim 07 | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | LeChuck | 62% | 95 |
| #4 | FZ | 55% | 482 |
| #5 | Marktleitung | 54% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FZ | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Marktleitung | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | SV Waldhof Mannheim 07 | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | nixX | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FZ | 556 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #2 | LeChuck | 154 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | nixX | 107 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Marktleitung | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | SV Waldhof Mannheim 07 | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nixX | +2.36 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | FZ | +1.22 | 55 | 61 |
| #3 | Lakso | +0.54 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | Marktleitung | +0.54 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | SV Waldhof Mannheim 07 | +0.43 | 70 | 58 |





